Sandra left in the middle of the night because she knew it was what she had to do. Again.

Her husband was very intoxicated this time, having attended a holiday party, now snoring heavily and would not wake easily. She gathered the children swiftly – her 4-year-old son and 18-month old daughter, grabbed the backpacks she had prepared earlier, and quietly shut the door of the warm apartment.

Years of his abuse had led her to this. But what was her next step? It was to leave and try to escape the violence. But where would she go? That uncertainty concerned her but she was scared and knew she had to try and leave once and for all. Even if it meant she and the kids would almost instantly become homeless.

Staying at her girlfriend’s place (couch surfing) for a while was one option, yet her husband, in another rage, would find her there eventually. So she took the car and thought driving as far away as possible was a start. As she drove, the children started to wiggle and wake and she sang them back to sleep. As she drove she said “Momma’s got you.” Terrified but determined, she looked for a safe place to park, to sleep in the car that night. She would figure out her next step in the morning after some rest. 

All types of domestic abuse, including what Sandra experiences, are a horrible pattern of power and control exerted by the abuser. The individual being abused often tries multiple times to escape the situation in order to achieve a safer space. And becoming homeless may be an unintended consequence that is yet another challenge Sandra and her children now face. 

The next day Sandra decided to drive even farther- several counties away- to a new city where she and the children could settle for a while. This felt overwhelming to her while still living out of her car, needing to “start over” and full of so many questions. What about income? What about housing? And what about quality child care so the kids are safe while I look for housing and employment? 

Her girlfriend (whom she stayed connected with only by phone) helped do a Google search of child care resources of the city Sandra was in and gave her information about BANANAS. Sandra called and was connected to the BANANAS CARE Program which helps families who are experiencing homelessness or housing insecurity in Alameda County. 

The BANANAS CARE team began their navigation and support process: learning Sandra’s situation and assessing her needs and eligibility. The Navigators determined Sandra was eligible for CalWORKs cash payments and child care subsidies and provided her referrals of child care providers who could care for both children while she looked for work. And they connected her with housing resource agencies so she and the children could get out of the car and into a shelter. 

The BANANAS CARE team began their navigation and support process: learning Sandra’s situation and assessing her needs and eligibility.

They also provided diapers for Sandra’s daughter, and a gift card so she could purchase items such as food, more clothing, and supplies. She was also given a warm-handoff to a local community agency assisting those fleeing domestic abuse. And Sandra was provided BANANAS WarmLine Coaching to alleviate her parental stress and develop a path to healing. 

If you are or someone you know is experiencing abuse, the Family Violence Law Center, Mobile Response Team provides emergency assistance and advocacy to women and children in immediate danger of violence in Alameda County. You can call their 24-hour crisis line for victims of domestic violence at (510) 757-5123 or 1-800-947-8301. And you can find the Domestic Violence Resource Guide for Alameda County by clicking here.

For support and referrals for services, you can also call the National Domestic Violence Line at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Next in this series:
Part 3: Doubling Up & Couch Surfing: The Hidden Homeless

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to live in your car parenting your children, day in and day out because you have nowhere else to live? This is a devastating reality for many families in the Bay Area due to their homelessness or housing insecurity. Here at BANANAS, our Family Navigators work with these parents everyday through our CARE program (Childcare Access Referrals Ensured), which provides enhanced support to them so they can access services and subsidized child care. Attending a child care program provides young children a consistent place of belonging where they are safe and nurtured, so they can rest and eat healthy food, and have play-based experiences that support their development. And parents can maintain their employment, take care of business, and secure other services while their children are cared for on a dependable schedule.

The face of homelessness has changed in the last five years. Historically, emergency shelters and other support programs were designed to serve single, adult males usually with mental health and substance abuse challenges. Today, many more families with children and seniors are joining the ranks of the unhoused. Housing costs have increased beyond what low-income and middle-income families can afford to pay, thus leading to rising rates of homelessness seen among parents and their children. As a result, 8,000 families and 14,000 children were homeless in California in 2019.*

As a result, 8,000 families and 14,000 children were homeless in California in 2019.*

The housing crisis many low and moderate income families experience is partially the result of the 2008 recession which was the capstone of years of predatory lending and the substantial number of resulting foreclosures in these communities. Properties were acquired by opportunistic investors who then rented these homes for much higher rents which is why families in these communities have such high rent burdens of 50% or more. This is the profile for many of our CARE families – predominately Black and Brown mothers and some couples with their children are just one incident away from being unhoused. Our safety net system is not equipped for the newly unhoused and most shelters are not designed to house women with children or couples with children, forcing families to split up.

For reasons like this, mothers, dads, and their children end up living in their car, couch surfing, or living outdoors. Parents feel anxious, exhausted, and experience trauma while living in unsafe conditions in addition to the concerns they have about their children’s well-being. These mothers are also working women. 90% of families in the BANANAS CARE program are employed full-time. The high cost of Bay Area rent impacts low and middle-income families especially hard. They often pay 50% or more of their income on housing, much more than the 30% recommended as sustainable and affordable. One unexpected expense or reduction of income because of illness or caregiving can destabilize a fragile situation and literally toss a family out of their housing.

The goals of the BANANAS CARE program are to lift unhoused families out of crisis, provide them access to supportive services, all while treating them with dignity and respect. Parents are supported by a team of Family Resource Navigators. Our Family Navigators do just that – help families navigate the myriad services available to them. Accessing child care is a necessity as the overwhelming majority of CARE families are employed full-time. A secondary goal of CARE is to eliminate the barriers and silos families face trying to navigate between various social services and safety net programs.

Started in 2018, the BANANAS CARE program began through a collaborative effort by partners from First 5 Alameda County, Alameda County Social Services Agency, Family Front Door, ALL IN, Alameda County Early Care & Education Program, Parent Voices Oakland, and Supervisor Wilma Chan’s Office. The strength of this group helped “birth” the CARE program and continues to nurture and develop its growth. The Hellman Foundation supports the continuation of this program recognizing the importance of affecting systems change to enable low-income and marginalized communities to access the services designed to support them.

Next in this series:

Part 2: Domestic Violence: Motherhood Survival
Part 3: Doubling Up & Couch Surfing: The Hidden Homeless

For more information about the BANANAS CARE program and Navigation Services visit https://bananasbunch.org/parents-families/parent-programs-services/

*California’s homelessness crisis-and possible solutions-explained, CalMatters, January 2020